11:50pm Friday 4 April 2012 Nunhead Heights

Two young women gave me $10 billion dollars at my Soho show Lewis Schaffer is Free until Famous Tuesday. It’s only worth a pound cause it’s discontinued Zimbabwean money.

My personal blogger John Fleming lets the world know – His post gets picked up by Steve Bennett & chortle, the UK comedy website and there it is for the world to see that I’m doing a free show.

Not that I’ve been hiding it. It is one thing for me to shout it, it’s another for another to shout it. And on Chortle right next to a video about Jersey comic Rich Vos – he’s sure to read it and think I’m not doing that great. I’m in a dark place but why do I want him to know that?

And it isn’t “free” exactly. Real people give me real money and some of it not coerced or guilted. It’s a business decision, I’ve made.

John Fleming suggested in an email I call my Edinburgh show “Billion Dollar Comic” after the Zimbabwean money incident. I’m glad the suggestion came now after the name was set in stone cause it would have messed with my head. I would ask a million people if that should be the name. Even in the final hour before deadline I was contemplating calling it “Lewis Schaffer: Still a C*nt”. Glad I didn’t do that.

Anyway, a Zimmy dude gave me $50,000,000,000 (billion Zimbabwean) last Edinbugh so I saw this $10 billion Zim as not being spectacular, especially coming from two people. That said, young women are the generally the worst donators, no matter what the continent they come from, so i saw that as being dead nice considering they wouldn’t apologise for all the trouble Zimbabwe has caused us English people over the years.

I’ve put the name of the show to bed: No, YOU Shut Up! is friggin brilliant even if I didn’t think it up myself. Mistress comic Karen O’Novak came up with it. Had I thought of it I wouldn’t have appreciated it unless every person in the entire world had told me how friggin brilliant it was, and even then I wouldn’t be sure.

And Sajeela Kershi, the sparkling English comic gave me the idea for the poster: Duelling Lewis Schaffers telling each other “No, YOU Shut Up!” That, too, is brilliant. And brilliant in the American way, not in the vacuous way English people use it. Indeed!

I won’t change the name for $100,000,000,000.00 Zimbabwean dollars.

This is typed on my phone cause my internet is down on my computer. Sorry for everything.

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