8pm Thursday – 21st June 2012 – Nunhead Heights

Rolling Stone Keith Richards wrote in his autobiography that he hadn’t done drugs in over 30 years and when he did use drugs they were pharmaceutical-grade in moderation.

Why kind of junkie rock star does only pharmaceutical drugs and in moderation?
And that photo him in his library in staid Connecticut? Library in Connecticut.

Anyone who reaches the top and is carrying a secret runs the risk of being found out. Richards outed himself as Mr. Boring.

Jimmy Carr had a secret.

Jimmy Carr, The Act, doesn’t care about what the little people think. That’s what made him funny. He was arrogant, shatterproof and egotistical.

But Jimmy Carr, The Person, does care what the little people think.

No one wanted to see Jimmy Carr apologize for trying to evade taxes. No one wanted to see Jimmy Carr apologize for anything. They, me, wanted him to hang tough.

It’s like finding out your dominatrix hooker fancies you. Who’d pay to have sex with someone who loves you? Isn’t that what marriage is for?

Similar thing happened with Andrew Dice Clay in the ‘90s. Dice was [and is, barely] the fake-Guido comic in leather spewing racial and gender-irritating gags. The criticism got too great and he cried on a talk show in front of America.

“Dice doesn’t cry!” Suddenly America saw him for who he was: Andrew Clay Silverstein, a meek Jewish kid from Brooklyn. It killed him as a major act.

Did Bernard Manning ever apologize? I don’t think so. And the people who loved him stayed loving him.

Before all this Jimmy Carr was shatterproof, egotistical, and joke-laden. You knew what you were gonna get from Jimmy Carr.

In retrospect I see cracks. Jimmy Carr, The Act, shouldn’t have dissed Barclay’s Bank for not paying taxes. Jimmy Carr, The Act, would have taken Barclay’s side. The Act’s got shares in Barclay’s Bank. Jimmy Carr, The Act, wouldn’t have been asked to work the Queen’s party. He’s the ugly – yet funny – face of British arrogance.

Jimmy Carr, The Act, might have told everyone to “eff off” and seemed like he meant it.

And the people who loved Jimmy Carr, The Act, would have stayed with him, not knowing Jimmy Carr, The Person. The rest would have hated him. Pull a Frankie Boyle and walk away with your true fans.

Instead, he’s shattered and he’ll never be egotistical again.

And maybe this may be what he wanted. Maybe this is something he planned. Maybe he knew it was inevitable –  unavoidable – and maybe now he is free to be the good guy that he is or wants to be?

I wouldn’t count Jimmy Carr, The Person, out. And I wish him good luck.

Now about me:

That is one reason I don’t have an act. Or try not to have an act. I don’t want to be exposed for being an “act”.

You won’t find some master plan for comedy success behind this failure of a man.

And I want to be loved for who I am – not whom I pretend to be. I want to be liked warts and all. Anal warts and all. And I have anal warts.

This is my plan to be the best comic in Britain: To be the most authentic comic in the Britain, if not the world.  As they say “Sincerity, If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

Tell me what you think of this post? Rubbish, Brilliant, True, False, Something Else? 

Read what I wrote about Jimmy Carr: Why Jimmy Carr is rich and I sleep in my living room. 

www.twitter.com/lewisschaffer [Twitter]

LEWIS SCHAFFER is FREE UNTIL FAMOUS Every Tuesday and Wednesday in Soho www.sourcebelow.com

Mondays 10:30 PM on Resonance Radio 104.4 in London
www.resonancefm.com – iTunes at www.bit.ly/NunheadAmericanRadio

“Rapid-fire delivery… everything is fair game” (The Guardian)
“His total indifference to all things British is brilliant.” (The Scotsman)
“A unique style – he can insult you and love you in the same sentence” (Time Out, New York) “Controversial. Warning: Unpredictable. Recommended.” (Time Out, London)

Malcolm Hardee Award Winner 2009

9 thoughts on “Why Jimmy Carr planned this and why I’m the best comic in England

  1. I was led here on Face Book by a friend. I don’t normally read blogs, I’ve read two of them so far and find them excellent. So well written and I agree with a lot of what you say. I particularly identified with your wanting to be an ‘authentic comic’.

  2. I love the that you know (and get) Bernard Manning. I kind of agree with the point but I think Jimmy Carr pulled off his apology spectacularly well. The act will survive.

    1. I do get Bernard Manning and I didn’t like him. He made made his audiences feel good at the expense of other people which is lazy.(luckily he’s dead and can’t put me in my place!) thank you for commenting. your reply is appreciated.

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