6:30PM Wednesday 13 April 2016 Nunhead Heights
I got my first Zero Star review this week for my show at the Bath Comedy Festival.
“He doesn’t occupy the stage at all tonight, preferring to do his vaguely racist, sexist and homophobic stuff directly in the face of individual audience members, sometimes touching and stroking them, while talking about his genitals, or their genitals, or imaginary genitals.” John Christopher Wood, Theatre Bath 2016
I thought I wouldn’t get a really bad review again. And then boom. Zero Stars, Nil, None, 0!
In order to get a bad review three things have to be present.
One, the reviewer has to think the performance was PAINFULLY rubbish. So painful to the critic that he wanted to punish the performer with his review. To be honest, I wasn’t at my best that night.
Two, the reviewer must not have heard of the performer, or heard only negative things about him. A critic goes out on a limb to trash someone who some people think is a “genius” [Stewart Lee, 2015]. He must not have known who I was.
And finally, he must not know how happy a bad reviews can make the performer if the performer is Lewis Schaffer. I love being panned. Nietzsche wrote “Undeserved praise causes more pangs of conscience later than undeserved blame”. I still haven’t gotten over the horrendous feelings my Five and Four Star reviews in Edinburgh gave me. Read the reviews from 2015 here.
It is weird being called homophobic for a show where I stroked men and talking about their genitals. I laughed hard when I read that. If that is homophobia then I am a homophobe.
FREE UNTIL FAMOUS TOUR:
I am not doing any big gigs until Friday May 6 when I am in Sudbury, Suffolk and Saturday May 14th when I am in Haverhill, Suffolk. I just realized how close these places are, geographically. I hope they don’t go mental that they will lose audience. Also, on Friday, May 20th, I’m in Brecon, Powys, Wales. Damn, I need more gigs.
NUNHEAD AMERICAN RADIO:
I have put links to Nunhead American Radio with Lewis Schaffer. My radio show is brilliant. I am brilliant. My guests are brilliant. The shows are only 30 minutes long. You are brilliant. Brilliant.
SAVE SOUTHWARK WOODS:
Southwark Council is denying they are planning on reusing graves in Southwark Cemeteries – while they are reusing grave. What liars. “Reuse” is when they mound over graves or dig up graves. That says a lot about the Council. They know that residents don’t like the idea of having their Gran dug up in order for the plot to be sold off.
RESONANCE FM BENEFIT at THE IVY HOUSE:
The fundraiser for Resonance was a huge success. We made some money for the station (okay, not much) and we made some money for the Ivy House in Nunhead (who knows how much). I was funny enough. Richard and Anna – The Relatives – kicked it off sparklingly. Rolo McGinty with his pick-up band was amazing. He is like a cross between John Cage, Philip Glass and the Yardbirds Circa 1967 in the old 100 Club on Oxford Street. He is my favourite rocker. Go see him.
Which is interesting cause the Rolo’s band The Woodentops are playing Thursday 21 April at the 100 Club. I will be there. You go too.
TAXES BY: BritishAmericanTax.Com – ask for Liz.