9 PM Monday 19 November 2012 Nunhead Heights
News of Nunhead for 19 November 2012
Nunhead’s anonymity ended Friday.
The London Times, as Americans call the The Times of London, published an article about Nunhead in its real estate section. Ironically, the report entitled “Wake Up to Nunhead” showed a photo of Nunhead Cemetery where the greatest cause of death listed on tombstones is “Fell Asleep”.
Then again, the article was behind News International pay wall so probably no one saw it.
A beautiful kitten is available in Nunhead for £60 on Gumtree.
On a lighter note, a funeral in Camberwell New Cemetery was interrupted by gunfire. That is according to the Southwark News, the Official Newspaper of Nunhead American Radio. If you have any news to report, contact firstname.lastname@example.org or me.
A cannabis smoker was arrested in Priory Court, home to celebrated New York comic Lewis Schaffer. He was found to be in possession of over sixty pot plants and claimed that this stash was for his own use. I can confirm he never shared it with me.
A three-bedroom house, similar in size to my old home, now in full possession by my ex-wife, is for sale on Nunhead Heights for £475,000. Nunhead Heights is the increasingly in-demand area of London. Call Winkworth and mention you heard it on Nunhead American Radio with Lewis Schaffer.
A Nunhead Heights man wasted police time this week.
He did not complete a police report about his missing phone. After an half-hour of police time he realized that going to the police was a mug’s game. The Nunhead Heights man also expressed doubts about accusing a local news agent of the theft, being unsure.
Instead, he approached the news agent later in the week and asked the man to reveal the distinctive IMEI number of his iPhone. When the news agent agreed without fuss, and the number proved different, the Nunhead man was much relieved.
The Southwark Council was recognized by the Southwark News for its commitment to paying a ‘living wage’ to all its workers. The Council, now under Labour control, should be commended for the about-turn after having destroyed the worker’s living wage by allowing uncontrolled immigration into the country. The Nunhead American community does not add to the problem as we are not workers, per se.
In Sports News: The Athenlay Under-10s Football Team won their second game in a row, saving the managerial job of Steve Scanlon. Rumors were abounding that Harry Redknapp would have been called in after a winless season.
Athenlay breezed to victory 4-2 with Nunhead Heights resident Carnegie Schaffer in goal, playing a decent game and making a late save which clinched the match.
Finally, the illustrious Southwark News printed on paper, and not just on their website, Lewis Schaffer’s tweet regarding the preservation of the Ivy House. “Only in Nunhead is a pub a “listed community asset”. Thank you Sothwark News.
And that’s the News from Nunhead.
Listen to Lewis Schaffer on the Radio Nunhead American Radio with Lewis Schaffer every Monday evening at 10:30PM on www.resonancefm.com and 104.4fm London. Or listen to the show’s podcasts at bit.ly/NunheadAmericanRadio
See Lewis Schaffer live every Tuesday and Wednesday: Lewis Schaffer is Free until Famous, The Source Below, 11 Lower John Street, London W1F 9TY. Come on down. Free admission. Or reserve at bit.ly/londonfreeshow